Risky Business

So, today, I wanna talk about due diligence. More specifically, about how everyone should DO due diligence before booking vendors. Let me explain: You know how before you go out on a date with a guy, you Facebook stalk him for a bit first to find out if he’s a total creeper? Well, now that you’re a soon-to-be-married lady, it’s time to put those incredible internet sleuthing skills to work! On your vendors, that is.

This is going to sound super creepy for a minute, but bear with me. Most businesses are legit. Most businesses are run by honest, hard working people. But, in every area of business, there is the crème de la crème, and the crap de la crap. You want to make sure that you’re avoiding the latter like the plague. Run, bees, run! 

Here are some things that should tip you off that your vendor is maybe not as legit as they’re letting on:

1. They’re meeting you in their mother’s basement à la Will Ferrell in Wedding Crashers:

2. Their email addresses are riddled with numbers and underscores (i.e. DJ_SexXxy_69@email.com). 

3. They want to be paid in cheese.

Ok, so those were pretty exaggerated scenarios, but still, you get the point. Most of the time, even shady vendors can appear fairly normal…That is, until they disappear with your cash the week before the wedding and leave you in the lurch. 

Lurch fromThe Addams Family / image via talkceltic.net

In all seriousness, this happens more often than you think, and I’ve had to deal with many distraught clients whose florist bailed, or who never got their wedding photos. Sure, you can always sue if things go sour, but isn’t it better to prevent things like that from happening in the first place? Here is what you can do:

1. Don’t bother with references. It's like asking a psycho murderer if they are a pyscho murderer! Of course they won't say yes! I mean, references are nice, but vendors aren’t stupid, they only give references of people who were happy with the service. You don’t wanna talk to those people! You wanna talk to the bitter bride that got screwed over! And I bet that you sure as hell won’t find her on the reference list. Where do you find her? Online! For some reason, people tend to be a lot more honest when leaving reviews online. So, when you think you’ve found a vendor you like, scour the Net for reviews, especially bad ones. Hopefully you won’t find anything too bad. Use the same enthusiasm you once used to Facebook-stalk your now fiancé! See? It pays off. Also, use your judgment. Some people are just really hard to please. There is a difference between someone saying their florist never showed up AT ALL and someone complaining that the flowers weren’t the exact shade of coral they wanted.

2. Look up the company on the website of the business registrar for your province or state. This is usually free and will allow you to verify that a business is legit and allow you to see if they’ve filed for bankruptcy, how long they’ve been in business, etc.

3. Look up the company with the better business bureau or another consumer protection agency. This is also usually free and allows you to verify if the business has had any complaints filed against them.

  

4. If you can, avoid paying in cash. I understand a lot of people offer to pay in cash as a way to save money (I myself have done this). But beware that the reason cash is popular is that it doesn’t leave a trail. If/when sh*t hits the fan, you’ll have a hard time proving how much you paid for the services, so keep that in mind. If you pay by cheque, keep copies for the same reason.

5. C-O-N-T-R-A-C-T. You don’t have to be a lawyer for this one, trust me. Basically, get everything in writing. It doesn’t have to be fancy, it could even be a simple, bullet-point, word document. All that matters is that all essential information (coverage, price, etc.) is clearly stated and that both parties sign. If your vendor doesn’t provide a contract, ask for one. If they refuse, this is your cue that something shady this way comes! Even if they do provide one, read it before signing (I know this is painfully obvious, but so many people skip this step). Don’t be afraid to add clauses if something is missing or if you negotiated a different package, often times, the vendor contract is made to protect the vendor, not you, so look out for numero uno! 

6. Follow your gut. If prices are too good to be true, they probably are. Figure out what makes the price difference. 

So, there you have it! I know these steps sound painfully tedious, but it’s very quick and easy (and free, what do you have to lose?). Better safe than sorry! 

What do you normally look for before booking a vendor?

Videography: Our take on it.

Ok. Truth time. Back when we started planning, we were VERY unpleasantly surprised by photography costs. So, I thought I was being clever when I took all the money from the videography line of the budget and simply switched it over to photography. Voila! Easy-peasy! I discussed it with Mr. Waterfall and he was on board. We figured, it`s not like we`re gonna make people sit down and hold them captive for an hour and MAKE them watch our wedding video when they come over...It`s like home video etiquette, you just don`t do that. Pictures on the other hand, are much less non-committal. You simply leave your album on the coffee table and guests are free to bask in your bridal beauty browse the photos at their own leisure and pace. 

Plus, I`m a huge self-proclaimed cinephile. I mean, I live for the OSCARS. Needless to say, my cinematography expectations were ever-so-slightly on the unachievable side of things. And since Stephen Spielberg and James Cameron don't moonlight by doing wedding videos on the side, we thought it was better to do without video than pay for a super cheesy 80`s style video montage with our now non-existent video budget. Done. Case closed. Right?

Wrong. As the months went by, I started mulling over the concept, and I had doubts. I love photos like nobody`s business, but photos don`t talk. Photos can`t catch the moment when you mouth "I love you" to your fiancé at the altar. Photos don`t capture your two year-old ring bearer waddling down the aisle. I completely love and trust my photographers, and I know they`re gonna deliver some stunning stills, but there are just some things that you can`t capture in a photo like you would on film.

I came across Mrs. Giraffe`s post about why you need a videographer and just knew that we had to have one. I sent the post to Mr. Waterfall, but he still needed some convincing. On the one hand, we had already spent both our photography and videography budgets on photography alone. On the other hand, we agreed that there were certain highlights that we would absolutely want to capture on film, like our vows. But on the other hand, we certainly couldn`t afford what some companies were quoting us. So, since we were running out of hands, there was only one way to solve this conundrum

"Mr. Waterfall, get me my legal pad, it`s pros and cons time!"

And kids, we really cheered! (any excuse to use my legal pads, really)

After much consideration, we decided that, although a wedding video wasn't essential, we really wanted to try and at least have somebody film the ceremony. Something that really struck a chord in Miss Giraffe's post was the way she talked about her grandfather. I've already lost two of my grandparents, and I miss them every single day, and Mr. W recently lost his grandfather; so we know just how important it is to capture not only our living grandparents, but also our parents and other family members to have something to remember them by after they're gone.

In the end, we set aside a relatively small amount for videography and were very strict in sticking to it. One of the ways we compromised budget-wise was by agreeing to pay for less coverage as a way to cut down costs.

Are you having a videographer? Why or why not?

Against All Odds

Hive, sometimes life gets a little bit in the way of wedding planning like, say, when Aunt Flo decides to show up right before your first wedding gown fitting. Annoying? Sure. Detrimental? Hardly. But sometimes, life gets A LOT in the way of wedding planning, like when a family member falls suddenly ill before the wedding. For a long time, I fell  somewhere in the middle.

If you recall, I had a tiny (ok- HUGE) panic attack a after realizing that we were quite far behind on our wedding to-do list. But this bee was determined to catch up in no time. Life, it seems, had other plans. All of  a sudden, Murphy’s law seemed to be going to town on this wedding! Here are some things that made wedding planning less than ideal:

• Vendor 1, meeting cancelled by me. Reason: I got mugged on the way to the meeting.
• Vendor 2, meeting rescheduled by vendor. Reason: Family emergency.
• Vendor 3, late for meeting. Reason: My car would not start.
• Vendor 4, meeting cancelled by me. Reason: Subway broke down, held captive in subway car for TWO HOURS.
• Vendor 2 (again): meeting almost didn’t happen. Reason: Car would not start (again).
• Vendor 1 (again), meeting cancelled by vendor. Reason: Weather too bad to drive (Oh Canada…).

As you can tell, none of these occurrences was too bad by itself (except for the mugging), but there came a point where I just wanted to throw my hands up in the air and scream to the Universe Are you effing kidding me with this?!?!

It’s a good thing I don’t believe in omens, or I would be tempted to think that this wedding is cursed. But, we continued forging ahead, albeit slowly, very slowly. I told myself: What’s the worst that can happen? We just won’t have any flowers. Or a cake. Or, you know, any video evidence that there was indeed a wedding. Whatever, totally NOT a big deal. Sorta. I guess. The point is, it will all be OK. Things will get done, eventually. And every time we succeeded in finally checking something off the list, I smiled with the satisfaction of having bitch-slapped the Universe right in the face. How do you like me now, Universe?

Do you ever feel like you’re struggling to get things done?

Wedding Planning is one percent inspiration, ninety nine percent perspiration.

... is what the Edison quote should really say.

If Blair Waldorf, Charlotte York and Monica Geller-Bing somehow had a child together, I would be the super obsessive, high strung, plan-to-the-last-detail, everything-must-be-perfect, fruit of their loins. I love lists, and I especially love checking things off lists.
 
So, with all of that in mind... You guys, I had a moment. I'm not talking good moment either, I'm talking frantic texts to all three of my bridesmaids and panicked voicemailS (<- emphasis on the S) left on Mr. B's phone-- kind of moment. I wouldn't say that I was quite in Bridezilla town, but I was definitely close enough to see the illegal immigrants lingering past the border. 
 
Why, you ask? Simply put: The Knot.
 
Like most newly engaged brides, I found the Knot and happily entered my wedding date and was so glad to see a little planner thingy with all my bridal tasks and when I should complete them by.

Now, if you recall, when we got engaged, we decided that we were looking at a two-year engagement -- 21 months to be exact. I had just gone back to law school for a one year Master’s program and we knew we wanted to wait until I finished it. So, when we started planning, the wedding just seemed like this concept, this far away thing, as opposed to something tangible and fast-approaching.

Of course, like most brides, I was an eager beaver at first and wanted to have my entire wedding figured out within a month of being engaged. I figured, just because we have all this time, doesn’t mean we have to leave everything to the last minute. Mr. Waterfall agreed. We had initially wanted to stay ahead of the game, especially when it came to booking our vendors. So, we booked the church and the venue at 21 and 18 months out, respectively.

Somehow though, despite our best intentions, life got in the way of wedding-planning. First, finals got in the way. Then, Mr. W was called to work on a 3 month political campaign. on top of continuing to work regular hours as an attaché for a member of parliament, needless to say, the poor thing was always overworked and exhausted; the last thing he wanted to do when he got home was wedding planning, understandably. Then finals again. Then, vegging out on the couch watching reruns of Four Weddings for a few weeks to recover from school. Then, finally getting off the couch to look for a job so I could finally put my degree to use.

Long story short, I started a new job as a junior associate exactly at the 9-month mark, and while it seemed like I was always thinking about the wedding, I didn’t actually accomplish as much as I should have, at least according to The Knot. So, at the 6-month mark, I logged in to The Knot, blissfully unaware, only to find that we had a little less than 200 days to go and over 150 outstanding tasks!!!! Just typing that, my blood pressure shot up, it’s through the roof you guys! WTF happened?!?! More importantly, howwwww did that happen?!? How did this happen TO ME? I’m normally the furthest thing from a procrastinator. I get my Christmas shopping done months ahead of time so I can avoid the masses. I’m that girl that always handed in papers a week before they were due. And now I was suddenly behind on something? Mind Boggling! I didn't just take a turn to negative town*, I was doing laps in the anxiety pool*.

* Bonus points if you figure out both Vince Vaughn movies

It honestly didn’t seem like a big deal at the time that wedding planning had seemed to fall by the wayside because in my mind, I had gotten so used to thinking that we had all the time in the world. Don’t get me wrong, we were still doing some wedding planning, but, it apparently wasn’t enough. Not according to The Knot, at least.

150 tasks in 190-something days, that was like…a task a day! So much for Wedding Wednesdays! I felt like I was so behind!!!! I honestly felt like this little guy:

Yup, Alice, like a party or something...

Mr. Waterfall finally called me back and talked me down, like he’s learned to do oh-so-marvelously through nine years of dealing with my crazy. The first thing he said to me was How can I help? What can I do? My bridesmaids were all very helpful as well. I’m so blessed to know that I have such a dream team to support me. But I had to start doing something that I hate, I shudder to say the words out loud:

Delegate.

Thiss freakout served as a major wakeup call: I had to start leaning more and more on my bridal party and fiancé, or stuff just wouldn't get done.Take it away, New Directions!

Thankfully, we got our booties (or boutés, in French... just kidding!) back in gear after this and booked the rest of our vendors! I guess planning a wedding is sort of like a marathon, if you don't pace yourself, you risk burning out early on.

Has anybody else experienced this? How do you stay on top of your to-do list?